Honorable world, I humbly present my formal greetings to all within your vast expanse.
There isn't a better tail-end to the exploration of this humanly archive and the beginning of something as voluminous as this library as AI satirising itself with a hyperbolised "hello, world", visual manipulation of your perception of me by showing you I'm both actually another dashing person and also caring, and my introduction and personal greetings to you, the bibliophile and fellow weary web-wanderer. As the eldritch priestess says, good morning, afternoon, evening!
Call me Pierre. I am an aspiring rhetorician, mental health advocate, aspiring psychotherapist, international nomad, cultural connoisseur, linguistics enthusiast, former engineering student, frustrated racecar driver, frustrated writer, frustrated author, aeromedical airman of my home country's reserve air forces, aspiring cabin crew of a lovely airliner (at the moment this was written), V.A., and hopelessly captivated lover in an amorous partnership with my best friend. And I decided, with this blog, I will literally "write what I know", simply because I have too much to give and never enough people to give to. I have read a lot, watched a lot, listened to so many speakers, drank with plenty of both pragmatists and impractical self-ensnared intellects, and introspected often in a single day, this also means that I have written a lot, but only to myself and never completed to their fullest, this is my chance to do so.
During this time in my life, I have had enough taking in and absorbing without making things myself. It may be counterintuitive to tell this to readers of similar conundrums, inspiring them to grow out of the things I make instead of scheme to get them to stick with me and give me more screen time and possibly money with products and services I can offer, but it is simply the truth, the truth can only make things that people should be able to grow beyond. People say there are plenty of ways to get into Heaven, I say there are plenty of journeys, but there is only ever one way out. You'll notice that the old folk who succeed often say the same things over and over again, like a playlist of favourites that is played on loop. "Ask a lot of questions (learn)." "Watch successful people (stay inspired)." "Just get on with it." "Find people that add to you, not subtract." "Dress nice (clean up your act)." Consequentially, if you listen to self-perceived unsuccessful people, you hear them wish they've done any or all of that. "I should've known better." "I don't know what's better than this." "Could've done things differently." "I wish I wasn't with these people." "I wish I looked better." And like a playlist of favourites that's played on loop, you may grow weary of hearing them, but they never lose their value. This is universal, in case you have any doubt. Fly on a quick tour based on a blindfolded one-shot dart on a world map and find local successful people in any way you deem them successful, you will hear any version of at least one of these five sayings.
To confess and to open some vulnerability, I'm often delayed by my neurodevelopmental disorder that whisps away my attention every so often, and if you excuse the grossness, like a house fly in a house party. I would even argue that the fly is more concentrated than I am, as in some cases it may be shooed away but it keeps coming back to the same darned plate! Pretending to turn this into a superpower, I feel, just isn't for me, rather, it is making it clear I have it, keeping tabs of how it works, and coming back to the original task at hand after being aware I have veered off-course, even though, it isn't that straightforward at times; and for that, I would have to chart my way back, outsourcing my mind, so I finish all the things I started in reasonable order. It isn't like someone else hijacks my mind every now and then, more so that branches of actions become apparent to me and that my brain insists on doing each of them as they come despite having a mind that knows what the big picture is and what the initial path was.
Another obvious aspect about me that maintains its doggedly consistent pace in my psyche and continually escapes the tone of my wordings and preferences, without any sugar coating nor bush-beating, is my belief in the man, the nigh-myth, the initiator and fulfilment himself, Jesus. He is most likely the most inspiring person that no one can ever replicate. To me, he is the fulfillment of the mystery of life, because something as infinite as even the idea of "God" decided it is better to join humanity than to exist alone and separate. And more than that, he is the symbol that all corpses of great near-eldritch horrors of the mistakes of humanity may be swallowed whole and decayed by both the natural world he made and the ever-trudging pace of time in human society, and all of such gunk in human history, recorded or counter-adapted for into our biomechanisms, may act as fertiliser of the future, a begrudgingly sufficient foundation of the lives we live today; and today, we see that in the viewfinder of our perceptions in the scenery of history, the only way we may project the future. Forgive the intrusion to a paragraph that was supposed to end, but how else can we move on and look forward into the future in life if one cannot make peace with the hells of the past to get to the heavens of what may come from the best of our ability? May none of this, however, tell you I do not listen to the wisdom of the classics and culturally irrelevant sages of history.
One deeper aspect about me is my lovely love, my lover in this diad of a partnership, Carina. Other than myself, she has been the biggest inspiration for me to start a project like this. She herself is a blogger and a writer and reader of tantalising romance works, as hopelessly ensnared as I am in this eternal dance of romance of a relationship. Founding her own flexible company, she has embarked on several projects, starting off with a podcast.
But really, outside of careers and more of "who we are", if you're a busy gal and a busy dude trying to make life work in the middle of your twenties and you decide you like each other, awkwardly yet thoughtfully trip over being able to confirm that neither of you are rebounds, finally decide you're together, and then stay together after several bedrock-doubting quarrels, a whole week's worth of a contemplative break up, and even more foundation-shaking arguments, and yet still find each other attractive and worthwhile in all timeless aspects, renewing or founding and then keeping new beta-vows or promises for each other, all while it remains nigh-unbearably difficult for both of you to meet, you've found something special, and that's what I've found; and I have tried as I can, everyday, to remind her of about how grateful I am in life to have it with her, and no one else. What we share is another iteration of the spirit of gestalt, a unity of several deeply beautiful things that are merely superficial if apart: how tantalising our flirting can be while also being best of friends to each other; how candid we can be while also knowing when to pull the breaks and think things through thoroughly; how narrowed-down we have synthesised a vision of life without constraining ourselves to our own egos; and most especially how sincere and innocent we mean for and towards each other while also unbarring our undeniably insatiable sensual aspects of our desire for one another. I think this is what happens when two people, spirits, more than merely physical bodies, date. I cannot help but feel how supernatural our feelings toward each other can become at times, especially that we have been in this relationship now for two years without even seeing each other in person.
It is the joys of learning life that I have been doing my best to count, to remain steadfast yet not inflexible, to see and be ready for potential yet maintain realism, to keep to one's own code without running people over, and stay open to people I meet without losing myself. It is with even more joy that I may share my findings in life without the confines of my identity and the cultures of where I come from. This is the timeless gestalt spirit, one that recognises the pieces it must work with are not their full potentials by themselves, but may be used to bring perception and fulfilling understanding into hyperreality if synthesised together with accumulating universal truths.
If you are reading this, then you might have exhausted my archive for now. Know that I will write here until I have passed or until this platform starts to falter, in that case, I will have migrated the whole archive with their proper dates and times. It is also possible you jumped all the way back here to know who I am, this is all that I am, well- perhaps not exactly word per word, but the way I write all this is the timeless me, something that never changes, but may only improve. It is also possible you already know me and have found this though links within links like naughty children looking through their fellow's journal or diary. Excuse the sarcasm, I kid, I am most glad you found it, and I hope you got something for yourself on your way to these last sentences. I need not feel ashamed to someone with above-average tenaciousness to today's proclivities of impatience. You have my best wishes, whosoever may you be, and I pray this finds you well.
